I can hardly wait to see what is in store for me this new year! Ive noticed lately that the old scripture out of the mouth the heart speaks is so true. Many times I have heard that God is just waiting for you to open your mouth or heart should I say and confess thoughs things to him you desire. How can he give you gifts you dont ask for!? Ive found that even in passing, when talking to others about my hopes, dreams and deepest desires God hears them even though I hadn't taken the time to bow my head and get him involved! Its like he's eves-dropping on me and then I'm surpised at the impact my conversation with another has had on my life! My deepest desires, the hopes God has placed on my heart are becomming the heaviest weight for me because I feel like what started out as a seed inside me has developed into this gigantic tree with a grip load of fruit and I have waited year after year to harvest it or something and now all these things are starting to come to pass all these opportunities comming my way! I'm not going to sit here and let someone else jump all over them! A week ago I was speaking to an old friend someone I held and still hold in the highest esteem and who I saw as a huge impact on my life and a mentor to my spirituality. I was speaking to him about the drama and crap in my life and how I have come so far from it I dont even notice it is there. My eyes are fixed and my priorities in place, I was telling him how I still want to be a youth pastor and my desires are so deep they hurt, I was spilling myself to him as I did when I was a teenager (which kinda sux for him I am sure) but in the things I was saying, my convictions were taking a tighter hold! I got off the phone with him and sobbed, the emotions that welled up inside me were outta control I hate feeling like I am missing something like I am not fullfilling my purpose, yet Gods timing is perfect. later that day my phone rang and it was my father, he was telling me how bad it is at his church since the split, he confided in me that worship has been horible and the worship leader now is also leaving, he told me there is no youth director and no childrens ministries, he is going back on staff as the missions pastor and he wanted mike and I to come visit his church and if we like the pastors vision maybe we can get plugged in and then he said it's time for revival and a new vision someone with fresh views and isnt afraid to say it like it is, he told me he wanted to see me leading worship and bring a deep heart of compassion and leadership to the youth! I was blown away! Coincidence I think not! I was also recently slamming my dads church and my feelings are mixed, but I find myself salivating at the oppertunity! I haven't even discussed my feeling and heart fully with my husband yet since all this has taken place, I dont want to drag him down a road he is unsure of at this point, he too feels called to the ministry but is unsure of exactly where! I sincerly hope all works out and I'm positive God knows whats right for me so this year may be a crazy one but I am so looking forward to a new chapter!
On a lighter note when am I going to be a mommy? I have a feeling this will be a good year for that!
Mike is looking for a better job and it is looking like it isnt far off in the distance. The more I strive to become the woman I am called to be to more things fall in place for me and my little family!