Friday, August 12, 2011

Home Strrrrrrrretch.... (literally)

      My shower went well, my mom really out did herself and every one had a blast. The monkey theme was a total hit!
I got a ton of stuff, but there was also a good amount of stuff I didn't get, the necessity stuff. I.e. breast feeding stuff, butt paste, a diaper bag... the things that if Ezra were to be born right now we'd be screwed! We plan to get the super needs stuff this week, including his crib, and this Sunday my dad is bringing us all of Ezra's gifts. The other needs stuff we will get in the coming weeks. Also Sunday we have a tour of the hospital where I will be delivering, so we know where to go and what to do! That is way exciting!

Monday was one of our ultrasounds with my personal friend tech and she was cool enough to give us not only the typical pictures but some video movement of Ezra! It was very exciting. However Ez is to the point where he is so big he is smooshed against the inside of me rendering himself "not so cute" I cant wait till he is out and desmooshed! Posted vid of Ezra below wiping his brow!

Later Monday Night we acquired Baxter my Moms cat. I guess technically what goes around comes around seeing that Lucas and I bought Baxter for my mom without asking her for mothers day when I was 16 and initially there for a while he was solely my responsibility for making that judgment call! I was actually quite nervous about the endeavor of another cat but we just couldn't let him go to the pound, he is such a sweet boy. So we packed him and a few choice baby items and our dogs in the car for our ride home.  He is doing well which relieves me, bringing a 4th cat into our family with also 2 dogs, 2 adults, a ton of home furnishings, a baby on the way in our 600 square foot beach house. Sounded like mass drama! But he has done well, Haymish and he, are old buddies and they seem to maybe remember a little of each other, Puma couldn't care less and Zeus who was trying to flex his alfa on everyone in the house has been put in his place and there is now a balance in the force once again!

It is evident to me with every passing day that I am beyond ready for this baby. Every other day I am significantly huger, I am not as hungry, I am beyond sore, The stress fracture on the top of my foot from our 3 mile walk is finally feeling better thank God! The last few days were bad, I was clearly ill with who knows what, Tuesday I had a fever with the sweats and major fatigue and the stomach upset followed into yesterday. I actually became a little concerned yesterday when I had cramping and major pain at the front of my belly button, the top of my bully under my sternum and rib cage and this sharp piercing pain through my side and into my ribs. But Ezra seemed to be fine, he was more active than he had ever been and it was reassuring. It didn't however, keep me from calling my Mom, My doctor and research online like I was writing a huge paper! In fact I haven't poured myself into research like that in at least the last 3 years of my schooling! Ha ha just call me Half ass Harriet!
THE HOME STRETCH: Not just my belly but the timing is coming down to the wire. All the signs are there. I have been monitoring my BP, drinking tons of fluids, counting kicks and hiccups, rubbing out Braxton Hicks you name it, if its anything that sounds like something a paranoid person was doing, that would be me. I even, when I wasn't pleased with my Mothers description of the mucous plug, went online to find a picture. Luckily there are people out there, nasty enough to post such a picture for my own personal relief and medical mother frame of mind!  Its like no matter how much you read, what you've been trained for, what you've seen or heard you are in the Dark 100% until you experience it and it sucks! Oh and one cant forget the nightmares! Yeah, so over this nonsense. The home stretch is among us for sure the cats are even acting weird, and rubbing their faces on my belly, the next couple weeks or so if I even have that, are eminent.

Since I have been going through all this, I am warn down and tired. My irritability knows no bounds, the off the cuff desire to want to punch a majority of individuals in the face on a whim is at an all time high! I feel fat and ugly and you name it, Im just down right insecure. So yesterday I took it upon myself to take a long shower and try to look nice, and it made me really feel better.
           Mike and I have been at each others throats on and off lately, more so on!  We argued Monday night, and after I was super sick on Tuesday he stayed home with me Wednesday just incase I needed him, and well after the explosion that day I can say "I didn't need him" then again Thursday morning. I think the high nerves is taking a toll on us. We got over it for the most part. I am definitely a loaded gun thats for sure and Mike loves to pull that trigger. 
                 Today is Mikes long day at work and I've grown to hate it,  he gets home to at about 9 and relaxing doesn't really take place, I feel so bad for him because its like he gets home in just enough time to go back to bed and face another day. Im very selfish about this fact as well because that means less time with me. I used to work long hours too, starting at 8:30, 9 if I was lucky and I wouldn't be home till 10 or even later, 6 days a week. Mike and I had a lot of issues in our marriage around then and I did this for almost 4 years. I get it now.  Since Ive been super pregnant Ive taken up the couch every night.  I dont get to hear him breath, he isn't inches away for me to touch, or that body that is warm and common to my sense of awareness. It takes away from US, it makes me a little empty inside, and I know he feels the same way. Just the lack of his presence next to me at night has broken down some very good elements to our relationship. When he hugs me or we snuggle before bed it feels so good I could cry and we are starving for it. I think it plays a huge role in our disgruntled behavior towards each other as well. So the moments he is home I enjoy those couple hours before bed because it is the only glimmer of my husband I get till his day off.  We do well for the most part but I cant wait till we can sleep together again. We are so in love with each other these days I am glad Mike is on this journey with me despite our crazy banter we are forever changed and I love it!
Another great thing about my Husband other than sticking to the POS job he hates, for our little family. Is he is so involved and madly in love with this little boy! He and the Pets enjoy stopping by the belly for a little one on one action regularly!
Since  we have been sleeping in separate quarters lately Mike has taken on old comfort habits to sleep...
Thats right folks you saw it here. The surfboard has taken my place in the bed next to my husband, which by the way is not a first! When I first became friends with Mike he invited me over to his studio and what did I find? None other than his impeccably clean Yz250 dirt bike next to his bed. His reasoning to having it there was "so I can roll over in the mornings and say "good morning beautiful!"" I would not lie! I look forward to kicking the surfboard out and reclaiming my title and a month from now his bed will consist of his wife and a happy little pudgy baby! I cant wait!
Last Night we made a call and got Ezra a sticker to put on our car on his window, it feels even more like a family car now! We can hardly wait!


Ps: I finally finished adding all my old Blogs from 2007 and up, there are 22 of them. Read up on them and get a glimpse of my past emotions and what got me here today. They are all titled MS ARCHIVES followed by the number in order! Enjoy!

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