what if...the other side to fullfilling prophecies....a play on words......(self fulfilling prophecies via psych/soc) 6/5/2008
Defenses, valid tools of survival in the past, work to our own detriment when we have escaped that brutal childhood prison.
In an eternity, the past, the present, the future are all one and the same. For a child of an unhealthy, abusive and dysfunctional family of origin, it is an eternity till that day of freedom. One year might as well be a thousand. To a tortured prisoner, the end to a week on the rack is a lifetime away.
When we have escaped, when we are free, it is hard to remember that the future is not the past. The means which we perfected to navigate such nightmares must be set aside, for they are no longer needed. Once free, they serve only to hurt us.
The war veteran drops to the pavement at the backfire of an old car. His prophesy that he is in danger is not a paranoid prediction of the future, but a terrible truth about his past. That which we do not acknowledge, we repeat. We treat others as if they are past enemies on the battleground of our childhood, because we have not acknowledged and connected emotionally with the horror in regards to the truth of our own past experience.
Those who do not look inward to find empathy with their child self, will forever project outward the horrors of their past on others, and thus the cycle of violence continues.