Tuesday, August 9, 2011

MS Archives #1 (9/1/2007)

a long time comming!    9/1/2007

Current mood:melancholy

you know at first this whole blog thing... i was thinking what would i say on one of those that isn't just my typical rantings. wierd because 2 days ago i had one of thoughs wild hairs (yeah you know what i'm talking about) to just vent and share and basically mold a little advice/hope for anyone who reads this or visits my site. of course i couldn't because something came up. over the past few days since my initial feelings toward this blog attempt i found myself stumbling onto profound insperation and favor with the way ive been feeling lately and weird but now for cirtain i know my place and my mind set on many matters is one of the better one to have. so here goes......                 
  BLOG UNO---- LIFE AS WE KNOW IT---GOD HELP US!!!! (ha im an idiot) anywho.....
ok so i find myself reflecting a lot about life, where i have been where i came from, realization is a tricky bitch, you totally know what is up yet you find yourself going oh yeah, always. ive found that realization is Gods way of keeping you in check a reminder if you'll have it, it can be the same realization since you were 5 but you never quite grasp it or it doesn't mean as much till youve been through hell and then it hits you yet youve always known, its realization that makes people change, come into thier own, make a perception if you will. anywho when every month that ive been alive i say stupid things like oh my gosh i'm old enough to shave my legs and baby sit, oh my gosh i can't belive i'm going into highschool, 3weeks later oh my gosh i hate high school and i have 4 more years, oh my gosh i'm driving, oh my gosh i'm not a virgin anymore and ashamed, oh my gosh i live in my own home, i drink alchahol in front of my family i own cars and have pets,im married, and now i'm pregnant. It is crazy to me sometimes, holy shiz i'm almost 25 and when my mom was my age she had a 5 and 2 year old its so wierd. i also find myself completely blessed for the minut crap, my husband kisses me and prays for everyone we know and over our dreams before bed every night, i have food in my tummy, gas in my tank, a roof over my head, and a jobs we are secure in. there are also a lot of things i don't shed light on in my life that i should give complete glory to because with out it i am no one. mike and i have been going through some bs- hardcore in the last couple weeks and it is weird but i am the most tranquill i have been in a great while. i guess i just wanted to say for everyone holding on to crap get over it life is too short and your shorting yourself, for everyone who thinks things are owed to you take a number and get in line sometimes patience is all you need to get what youve been searching for, and for everyone searching insesently-stop you are wasting your time trying to find something better than what you aren't even sure you have, yet its right in front of you. this lil shpeel isnt quite what i ment but i'm goin with it (its along the same lines) anywho i think i am the luckiest girl in the world for my short-commings, mishaps and transgretions i am so damn strong and smart and my heart has its weak moments but it's still meek. i think everyone should think good about themselves in a humble way and everything will fall in place. it has for me and it is still getting better.
ok i'm out thanks everyone for reading my shtuffers, i hope you can apply it to your life in some way weather it be now or your next realization!
ps. i hope this doesn't read like a hallmark card, crap that would suck.... oh well!

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