Saturday, September 10, 2011

Breaking This Baby Out Is Traumatizing...

          It has been quite some time since I have been on here. Those of you that are on My FaceBook get up to date, moment to moment commentary about where I am in this pregnancy. But for those that don't I will sum up!  The last time I posted was Aug. 18th, So much has gone on since then!

Dont mind the stupid face Im actually concentrating on the camera! (35wks or 37.5wks???)
               Early in the week of Aug. 21st I started having some pretty steady gnarly contractions all day every day, I was completely miserable every second, I couldn't eat very much, I was always nauseous, and on the toilet like crazy.  I did however drink water like it was going out of style. Ezra barely moved the whole time I would pay attention to his hiccups because his kicks were just not happening. That wednesday the 24th I had a Drs. appointment and I was furious with being pregnant at this point I begged the Doc to make my Induction date sooner and he refused. I was so tired! Well, the contractions continued.
        Wednesday night around 9pm I got an itch to work on Ezras little corner in our room so I was cleaning and tidying and organizing. Also this night Mike found the beginning of stretch marks, wow took long enough right!

             Thursday Night at about 9:30pm I got this huge surge of energy and began to clean like a mad woman I had to cut myself off at 2am because I didn't want to wake up Mike! The house was very close to immaculate at least in comparison to what it had been, the kitchen and living room were neat and tidy and CLEAN! I went on to the garage and cleaned and organized that. I had to make myself fall asleep then I woke up at 5am and stared at the ceiling itching to get up and clean, Mike finally woke up and was blown away by the house he commented "looks like someone dropped of a truck load of mexicans and put them to work" it was nuts how much I had done I will say that! Mike went to work and I went back to cleaning, that afternoon he had cashed his check and brought me the dough, I had a friend meet me at Costco... 3 hours and $500 later I was ready for another Phase of nesting.
(Side note: While at Costco I was so active I ripped my pants walking out to the car with the 300 pounds of groceries, an item fell off the cart I bent down to pick it up and "BOOF" the rest is history I laughed it off it was quite crazy the rip was strait up the seam starting at mid crotch and all the way up to the bottom of my tail bone so about 6-7" ONLY ME!) 

My chin is where the center of the crotch is and my hand is actually touching belt loops! WHOA!
       When I got home and changed my pants, brought all the stuff in which was NUTS! I had to use a dolly! I went crazy getting rid of all the crap and spoiled foods out of the 2 fridges we utilize for food then instead of just packing the fridges up with the new food I at some point honed in on the crumbs and drips and smudges, and began deep cleaning both refrigerators, then I put everything away... this took me several hours and left my newly tidy kitchen in total disarray!

Kitchen fridge

Garage Freezer Meets, and bulk foods!

Garage fridge, drinks and extra bulk items.

This is the Man Fridge.
             So once I was done with all of this I was pooped! So I left the newly clean Mess in the kitchen for another day and took a cold shower! In the shower is where it happened, I felt a warm gush of fluid and when I reached down to the underside of my belly I squeezed and more fluid came out. I finished my shower and laid on my bed with a pad on to test whether or not my water had broke. This all took place around 1am, so I call my mom and explain what is going on, her response "go to the Hospital" I have Mike chomping at the bit all excited running around trying to figure out what he's going to wear for when Ezra gets here and Im laying there saying "Im not so sure" the contractions were crazy about 10 min apart and when they started to get really intense like "make you barf" intense I said ok lets go. We get there and they wanna check to make sure my water broke, but at this point My contractions were 4 min apart and lasting over a minute they felt that regardless of my water breaking, the fact that I was beyond 36 weeks I was gonna be staying.  They get a hold of my Doc. he orders all kinds of "did her water break tests" so they get me and Mike situated ask a ton of questions one of which is "what kind of pain tolerance do you have" before I can answer mike pipes up "a crazy one, it takes a lot to get her down" then we go over pain meds and what the nurse is looking for when I reach my pain threshold, at what point is it going to be too intense.  After that she brings in her little kit for testing the amniotic fluid, at this point my contractions are more like 2 minutes apart. She grabs this sterile pack and inside is a long wooden stick with a little cotton in the end of it much like a q-tip but smaller. She explains that she sticks it in my vagina and lets it absorb the fluids and the they send it for testing. I dont think twice I know the procedure, "ehh it's a swab" so she sits on the bed at my feet and has me spread em, she sticks it in and immediately I feel the discomfort, I say "uh can you guide that thing closer to the floor of my vagina instead of the top it's snagging" then I follow that with "yoww point it down point it down" by then I was sweating and crying begging for her to hold on and stop, she says "just a few more minutes" as she starts twisting and Im screaming, howling at this point and Mike is up and in the business by then, she ends up sitting on my feet to keep them from kicking her and she places her left shoulder into my right knee and her left elbow into my right thigh and then places her left "free hand" on my abdomen to keep me from crawling to the ceiling. She just kept shoving and twisting as I screamed and the whole time shes looking at my face, the baby warmer, the clock... not once my VAGINA!  Another nurse even came in to see what the noise was about, she then says "all done" as I sit there sobbing and pulls out a wooden stick soaked in blood, then says "oh blood well now this isn't viable" I was livid... she left and I said to Mike "she stabbed me, I can feel it she stabbed me".
The bottom swab is what the stabbing nurse used, the top swab is plastic and bends with your body, what the good nurse used and the stabbing nurse should have used!
         She came back in and I ask "is that normal? people screaming in massive discomfort during that procedure?" she says "well no sometimes it causes pain, but you probably tested positive for your GBS and that would make it tender down there" she then checks my cervix and Im fine she still had blood all over her gloves from her previous botch, I say "well that didn't hurt near as bad as the tiny swab if I tested positive for GBS I would think that also would have really hurt" she said "well who knows" about 10minutes later I have to pee bad, I get up and go to the bathroom and the burning, sharp pain has me on the toilet, rigid and sobbing screaming, Mike comes in and holds my hand I grab the back of his thigh and squeeze as Im sitting there sobbing into his hip. We look into the toilet and blood nothing but blood almost purple there it so much, the nurse comes into the bathroom as Im crying with her sad face, "it didn't burn like this before?" I said "my urethra is damaged!" My mom calls as im finishing up in the bathroom and Im on the phone with her sobbing, I had gone from shooting the breeze happy girl to beside myself! I explain everything I felt to my mom who is also a nurse and together we piece together my anatomy and wrap it in with my symptoms. She agreed with me that it sounded like I was maimed. my theory was that the swab was pushed thru the upper vaginal wall into my urethra severing it. So the night goes on, my contractions are pretty steady, my Doc orders for them to give me a shot of terbutaline to stop my labor when they do I am instantly itchy and develop a rash on my palms, arm pits and feet. It knocks out the contractions a little but not entirely and pretty soon I knew I was having them but I could barely feel them. The nurse tells me they think I have a high leak which is where a tiny leak takes place and his head is so engaged that he is plugging it, apparently it's ok until it's a constant trickle or another gush! WHATEVER... they have a shift change and I tell the new nurse that I was skewered and she responds with "you probably had a UTI prior to coming in" I said "um no I didn't, this is different from a UTI and I Just had a 24 hour urine culture its all normal" she shrugs it off,  she then tells me they want me to walk for 20 min and if the contractions pick back up they are keeping me... I have to pee again, so I go in and sure enough I am frozen in pain and sobbing. I say "thats it" and I call for the charge nurse. I tell her everything that took place and I say "I have to pee and I cant and now you guys want me to walk for 20 min?" I said "at this point I want what has taken place with me to be resolved before I go home or have this baby or whatever." I asked for a physician on duty who is a "vagina EXPERT not a nurse to check things out" she agrees but asks if she can also take a look to see anything, I say "fine" she checks and sure enough swelling, sever bruising, a hematoma forming at the site of the wound (clotting) and blood also coming from my urethra. Her face got even more serious. She apologized tells me It appears that I am 100% correct on my theory and called my Doctor. He finally gets in (jeans and tee) and sees the same thing and writes me 2 prescriptions after that Im sent home with No baby, and a whole new issue. It took 5 days to urinate without blood, crying and gasping, and to this day I still feel it a little.  I also Lost more of my mucus plug on Tuesday the 30th.
            On the 31st I had my last ultra sound everything looks fine Ezra is super healthy very chubby baby is what we are told and 7.6 pounds the Doctor says he will be born at least 8.5 pounds.  So all of this is good. The next day I had a Doc appointment, I asked him if he had anymore plans to stop my labor again because if so I was going to deliver the kid myself on my living room floor! He agreed to not stop it again!

Sept 2nd, 2011- Am I  37wks or 39.5wks that is the question folks! Also StretchMark city!
            I continue to have crazy contractions and to nest... come tuesday Sept.6th I have more fluid and some contractions but because I have a NonStressTest at 3:30 I wait to go in, then they send me back to L&D for the swab test again, Im terrified, I get the charge nurse right away and I explain to her everything, she makes me her patient and she shows Mike and I a better experience.  Also it wasn't enough amniotic fluid to deem me as ruptured! So when her back was turned I pulled off a hearty helping of Nitrazine paper for my own home use so I wouldn't have to be going back and forth to the hospital, I can check it at home. I got Mike to sneak it out of my hand and into my purse!
          The 7th we went to Lancaster to help out Mikes parents His dad had surgery, during that visit mike left his wallet on their kitchen table so I got to drive back out to Lancaster the following day in my jammies, on the way out I got pulled over by a cop who was a total D-Bag. But later my mom took me out to lunch and gelato, and spent like $400 on Ezra it was nuts! We also installed Ez' car seat!

          Yesterday the 9th I had a Doc appt. we set the Induction date for the morning of the 17th of Sept. I haven't really contracted at all lately which is weird, the doctor thinks between all the trauma and the terbutaline my body is playing it safe. I may or may not go into Labor this week. Seeing that its less than 7 days away from now it's a moot point!  Good thing we have his crib and diaper bag and all that good stuff!