What's A Hiatus?!

It has been 6.5 months since I have blogged. Though I have been away from my site I have by no means been away from life itself in fact so much has happened it's been quite the opposite! Ezra started walking around the end of July but preferred crawling for another month and if he wanted to walk he cruised, or walked across small gaps. He says a ton of words! He eats big people food all on his own!I stopped working with my client Kim right before school started. I'm at CSUCI now an have decided to continue my plan to double major only I picked a specialty neuroscience with an emphasis in genetics, and my second major psych, my minor social business which will do nothing but help me when it comes time to open my wellness center. I have about a year and a half till I graduate with my BS/BA and my first med school pick is UCSD, my second is a tie between UCLA and USC my third is UAPhoenix my fourth is UCBerkley after that everything is free for all, up the west coast first, then the east coast, my last choices are TX and ID all other center states and Midwest states aren't going to happen I promised Mike I wouldn't apply to any of those states. And I plan to go for surgeon.School has been difficult juggling a toddler, a home, and school. Like usual a new school mean financial aid takes forever and a day. I didn't get it till the end of September and I finally got my books all but one which is in postal limbo. I was sick for a week and then Ez got sick an was sick on and off so I missed a bunch of classes so I'm behind. I decided earlier this week to drop 2 classes to preserve my resume and GPA. So I can now stop stressing!


      

        Ezra turned one in September and I am so proud of him, he has made leaps and bounds beyond what any Dr ever imagined him to be at an embryo. Mike being home 24/7 is very helpful, he is the best Daddy I have ever seen, I am blown away by his compassion and patience with Ezra. When I see Mike with Ezra it reminds me of Gods love. I have never ever physically seen with my own eyes a love like this. It's mind blowing. We plan on trying for our next bundle next summer. I really don't want to be crazy pregnant in the hot months, plus I want the age difference to be about a two and a half years like my brother and I. It sounds crazy after all I went through to get Ez, to want another one, heck another two! But honestly lately I've had baby fever, when I look back at Ez new baby pictures my heart kind of aches. He is growing so fast! Today in my Human Sexual Behavior class my teacher showed a video of multiple in utero scans from conception up to child birth and they added some artistic animation to it with classical music and I was crying. 

Its hard to deny a creator after watching that video. My uterus was screaming at me to let it help create life again. It is all odd how that happens. Anyway I'm finally dropping all this baby/bad medication weight. It's a good thing too with the class of 2001 high school reunion coming up in November. I'm starting to feel like myself again and even look like me again!

His first Lolli!

My boy has a sense of humor! We push our faces against the glass!

Me, my sister in law Angi, and our good friend Caitlin.

Daddy, Ez and Cousin Paislie!

My most recent Tat on my left shoulder, I want Fearless on my right!

Me on my way to school this week, Im finally lookin' like me again.

We got Ez a tent and tunnel for his birthday! He loves it!

My Disney boy!

I took this today, too bad my phone went out of focus.

~Mandi

Detox...

Well a lot is going on in my life. I can't really delegate my personal preferences and to micromanage everything takes it's toll. So I'm down grading, doing everything I can to lower my bills to relieve financial stress, I'm cleaning my house to relieve the burden of clutter and the feeling of over responsibility, I am cutting out the relationships in my life that aren't going anywhere. If I am not being blessed by the relationship and the person I'm engaged with isn't being blessed by me then there is no need to struggle investing time that is going nowhere. Honestly I can go without being blessed as long as the other person is, however if I receive a majority of negativity from the person in return, I'm DONE. I don't care who these people are to me in regard to social circle or blood lines, I don't care if I've known them 30 years or 5 minutes, I don't have the stamina or time to invest a well balanced teachable attitude to receive word that someone thinks I'm selfish, untrustworthy, unstable, or to be their punching bag. My thoughts are "well then stop lying to yourself, I'll make it easy for you, good bye" I don't have the time, I don't have what it take to be a good mom if I'm correcting others actions, explaining myself, or begging for people to understand me when I'm pretty easy to read, I say things as they are, my heart is on my sleeve and I try my damnedest to eliminate grey areas in my personality.

I am Detoxing my emotional Mind, as I come into this weight loss journey. I am fine tuning my thoughts and responses and narrowing in on time and place type stuff. There is a time and a place to be angry, to be in awe, to be fed up, to not put up with shit. Some things are over due! And other things I have jumped the gun, I can balance old compassionate Mandi with recent hard nosed go screw yourself Mandi. I don't like what I've become and I miss the old me however the old me rarely snapped, was emotional and a doormat, the recent me makes it impossible to bend and is so logical God can't do much with her... The New me is much different, I'm going to balance it all out for my own well being and that of those that are around me. I want to say what I mean and do what I say.

I've started this journey to the new me a while ago I've weeded out the people in my life that are toxic and I'm not looking back. Not to say there isn't room for forgiveness because I have forgiven everyone of them and if they become enlightened at some point in their lives and decide they want a healthy relationship I am here with open arms, but until then I'm done dancing everyone else's dance. God has bigger plans for my life!

I can't wait to start losing weight and creating a healthy whole lifestyle for myself so I can be more of a blessing to my family!

Mike and Ezra are great I love them so much and Ezra is amazing he is so smart and loving I am so thankful God blessed us with him! He is adorable. He says Kitty, MaMa, DaDa and Eww. Kitty and Eww seem to have more of a cognitive attachment to them than the others but it is exciting nonetheless. He is soooo big 98th percentile for height, and 75th for weight. He is almost 6.5 months old an he is in 9-12 month clothes.

~Mandi

Its Been A Cool Minute...

       I really don't even know where to start. This last Sunday I tuned 29 that is an interesting feeling, also Ezra turned 6 months. He is so big and so smart, Mike and I cant imagine our lives with out him!
This semester I couldn't afford School, so for the first time in 5 year I have time off and let me tell you... I feel a little empty and frazzled. "STUDENT" has become my identity and I miss it. I will go back this fall in August 2012. Mike was laid off in November and when we saw how little unemployment was we decided and sad as I would be, I needed to go back to work because I can work a couple days a week and make more money than Mike did working 5-6 days a week. I am back working with my client Kim and Though it is 5-6 days every two weeks I feel like I miss so much of Ezra.
      Lately I have been feeling really really cramped in our tiny little duplex, so as much as I hate moving I am looking at houses close to the beach for under $2000 so our little family can have breathing room and room to expand. We want to be trying for another baby by the end of the year.  Having Mike home 24/7 has been very trying on our relationship. I had to take a 3 day trip to Lancaster this last weekend because someone was gonna be going down! Ha ha! 
        Starting April 1st 2012 Myself and 2 friends are starting a weight loss journey and our goal is to be at a significant weight and looking hot by our 10 year HS reunion in September. Im very excited about it. I hope to run the LA marathon next year if Im not pregnant, this year was a no go, it turns out I had a bad case of postpartum depression. I am into month 2 of my medication that takes almost 3 months to be fully effective. So far I feel great and I have lost some weight. But I feel like I have the strength to function and try now which is great! very much old Mandi!

Any way Im at work I need to wrap this up!

 Please Follow Me on my Journey to health and Hottness! At our blog which is also kind of a one stop shop delving into different diets, work out routines, and ways to lose weight, you can get honest opinions and links there!
fatflab2phatphab.blogspot.com

Thank You Everyone
~Mandi

Ps. Photos to come!

New Journey...

Sorry everyone it has been forever since I have written anything, my next post I will get everyone up to speed. For now I am promoting a Lifestyle blog I have started with 2 other friends from jr high/highschool. It is a weight lose journey I would like you to follow! Though I will most likely discuss it on here as well I think the other Blog will be totally fun and informative from the perspective of 3 individuals! Joins us on this journey! Click on the below link!
fatflab2phatphab.blogspot.com

Thanks everyone you are awesome and always encouraging!
~Mandi