So I moved into a new home about 3 months back. It has been interesting, I took in a long time friend who has been in and out of the system in hopes to give him a real chance to make a life for himself. I can't say I'm surprised that I'm disappointed in the lack of effort toward his personal growth. But I hope that he has taken away something from the experience. He got a job and then paid nothing toward rent, it actually cost us more to keep him here, it just couldn't work out. Add to that everything that can go wrong seems to with me, things have been tight, a real struggle. But I am so grateful for where I am.
Ezra is doing so good, he is so smart and loving it blows my mind. We are working on potty training. He knows all his shapes, colors, letters, he can count to 20, and he does chores around the house, and uses manners like "please", "thank you", "may I", "you are welcome" and all that stuff. He got accepted into a top preschool out here and they even wanted him in the advanced class. I decided to place him in the normal class 3 days a week M,W,F, till he gets socialized and used to the other children, and being away from me. Once he gets used to it and hopefully thrives I will look into putting into the advanced class for Tuesday and Thursday. That starts the end of August. We are very excited for him. I can't believe he is going to be 3 in September, time flies.
It has been almost 3 months since I applied for 2 different jobs with Santa Barbara County's Drug Alcohol and Mental Health Department. I was placed second on their list of applicants, apparently I have a lot going for me on paper. However I interviewed for one of those 2 jobs so far and I still don't feel confident I will get it here 3 weeks later. My spidey senses during the interview said "yeah you are bombing this thing" I don't know where my confidence was but it was not sitting in the same room as me. I was recently told that my "go get em/change the world" attitude is threatening to people. Clearly people who hold jobs that give them the power to change the world but they do nothing with it. At anyrate it stuck in my head. I didn't want to seem as though I am not humble. And it was overkill, I couldn't just be myself. I seriously dislike the on the spot questions when I have a great deal to lose. I really need a better job and I loathe the job I am in. I am praying things work out, because I know I can do great things working in a job like the ones I applied and the room for growth and advancement is insane. Praying I get something before Ez and I have to go to school. My living situation will greatly improve.
I have a new plan of attack on my schooling career. And I can't wait to implement it! All bridge programs, on through medschool. I can't wait, and I have chosen Azusa Pacific to help me get that job done!
That will take about 4-5 more years and then another 2-3 at hopefully USC.
I don't know where I am with having more children, I don't know where I am as far as relationships go... I am just being me and listening to God, I KNOW everything will fall into place.